Congratulations! You're engaged!
I remember that feeling - I bet you want to shout it from the rooftops and run straight to start making your ‘Dream Wedding’ Pinterest board. But I also remember feeling a little bit overwhelmed. There is so much to do, so many things to think about, and you probably haven’t organised anything as big as a wedding before. So, before you dive in headfirst, here are my top 7 tips for newly engaged couples to help you in those early days of wedding planning…
1. Enjoy this time - have fun!
I’m starting with the most important point first. Getting engaged is such an exciting time - make the most of it! Revel in the feeling of just being engaged. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t last long. If you want to keep that excitement between just the two of you for a little bit, that’s totally fine too. Make yourselves a happy little engagement bubble and plan how you would like to share the exciting news with your nearest and dearest, or how you’d like to announce it on social media when you’re ready.
2. Don’t feel the pressure to get planning before you’re ready.
Very much linked to Point 1 above, don’t feel pressured into planning your wedding if you’re not ready yet. Of course, if you’re super keen, dive straight in, but if you’re wanting to luxuriate in your engagement before you start thinking about budgets and logistics and which aunties or cousins you actually want to invite then that’s fine too. Just know that as soon as you have announced your engagement, people get excited (of course they do - they love you!) but you will get asked questions like ‘so when’s the big day?!’ straight away.
Don’t let this stress you out if you don’t know the answers yet, people are just excited for you! Maybe come up with a line together which you share when you get asked these questions until you’re ready to share your plans. Something like ‘We’re just enjoying being engaged at the moment, we haven’t started planning yet’, people will take the hint.
3. Everyone will have an opinion - you don’t need to take it.
Once you start sharing your engagement, or even some of your early wedding plans, be aware that everyone has an opinion!
The vast majority of the time it is very well-meaning and much of it may be helpful, but, whether you asked for the advice or not, remember that you don’t need to take it. People will understand if you choose to go down a different path for your day.
Weddings are very personal and you need to make sure you’re making the right decisions for you as a couple, not what friends, relatives or traditions dictate you should do.
4. When you do start planning - start with the big picture before you get onto the details.
It is so easy to get carried away planning the little things - colour schemes, buttonholes or first dance songs - but your day will come together so much better if you start off by thinking about the bigger, more abstract elements.
What do you want your wedding day to feel like? Which part of the day is most important to you? How do you want you and your guests to remember it in years to come? Small and intimate or a massive party? Weekday elopement or wedding weekender?
Starting with the big questions will help you to prioritise (especially important when it comes to budget!) and pull together all the smaller elements and details towards the end.
5. Plan your wedding TOGETHER
One of those old wedding tropes which I find most annoying is ‘it’s all about the bride’. Let me tell you, it’s not.
Putting aside the fact that this is an extremely hetero-normative statement, a wedding day should be about you as a couple. It should reflect things that you like together as well as both of your individual interests. Planning your wedding together can be so much fun - you come up with ideas that one of you on your own would never have thought of and you get the joy of knowing you’re both equally as excited for your day to arrive.
You may go into planning thinking you know exactly what your partner wants, and you might be surprised! Communication is so important here. Have real conversations about what you would like and why, what meaning certain aspects of the day have for you. Ask each other questions and really listen to the answers. Planning in this way will bring you closer together and give you something new to bond over.
6. Come up with your ideas before you ask other people or look on Pinterest.
One of my biggest tips about actually planning your wedding is to look for inspiration from within your relationship first before you go scrolling through the internet for the next big wedding trends. Yes, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and wedding blogs are great places for inspiration, but it makes it so much easier to filter through all the ideas when you have a plan in the first place.
Also, if you always bring it back to your relationship it means your wedding will be more personal, and therefore unique. For example, if your absolute dream date night is getting dressed up and going to a swanky restaurant for dinner and cocktails, then maybe following a trend for a laid-back festival tipi wedding with street food vans might not be right for you or vice versa?
(Not saying that you can’t love both of course, just be wary of following trends for the sake of it).
7. Don’t spend every minute planning.
A wedding can quickly take over your life, so make sure you plan in some fun time together which is not wedding related! Doing nothing but wedding planning in your spare time is a surefire recipe for overwhelm which can leave you feeling really disheartened and even uninterested in your wedding.
Give yourself time and space for other interests and activities, or don’t feel guilty for just doing nothing! Wedding planning can be fun and exciting, but as with most things in life, a bit of balance is never a bad thing.
So there it is - my top 7 tips for newly engaged couples! I hope that's helpful and gives you some things to think about.
Check out my other blog posts for more tips and advice, or if you want to chat about your wedding photography, drop me a message!